On this first day of February I've been doing a lot of thinking. I wasn't expecting seeing the date be February to hit me so hard. When I see on my pregnancy app how many weeks I am and how many are left, I can't help but think "I would be so much closer to baby right now."
Our Angel baby would be due in 3 weeks from tomorrow. I would be hitting full-term tomorrow. That hurts. I don't want to dwell and wallow but I also don't want to forget. It's a weird feeling having been through a miscarriage. You long for something you never knew. It's hard to describe.
I am so blessed to be carrying a healthy baby right now but it still stings. God had a bigger plan than me and his plans were more perfect for us anyway. With how stressful work is right now and how hectic our lives are February wasn't the right timing. I am so happy and am not one to dwell on the past but today just kind of was a reminder that we have been through something and it's alright to be upset when you need to be upset. Life throws your curve balls because it helps you grow in your faith. Tommy and I have learned so much over the past 10 months about ourselves and our relationship. We are so excited to meet Emma in three short months. Tommy was finally able to catch her kicking last night. Every time before I tried to get him to feel her she would just stop. I could tell by the look on his face that he was so excited. I feel her all day long so I get that reassurance that things are fine but the daddy doesn't get the same luxury. It's hard to believe that I am 26 weeks tomorrow. With how fast the past month went by I can imagine February, March, and April will zoom by. We can't wait to meet our little girl! God had a plan and I know it was the right plan for us.
A hard month for sure, but with so much hope also. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLove you friend! I always think of ours as having the best time in heaven. I bet there is a special place for our little ones!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and that sweet growing Emma!